LITTLE DONNY
Ask Donny

THE DONNY STORE

Official Little Donny merchandise. Look tremendous. Feel tremendous. Be tremendous.*

COMING SOON! Donny is still negotiating with the payment people.

Look all you like. The buttons wake up when the store opens.

THE STORE IS OPEN! Everything is priced BIGLY!

Featured Product

The Red Tie on a wooden hanger, very long, pooling on the floor, with a tag: Other ties are sad.

The Red Tie

$49.00

THE tie. A real one. The exact red that says "I mean business, and also I'm very powerful." It's long. Very long. Longer than you'd think. Other ties are sad by comparison.

  • A real tie. Red. Very long.
  • Made specially, so allow a few extra weeks
  • Other ties sold separately (by sad people)

Hats

TREMENDOUS! Hat

$28.00

Navy cap. Red letters. One word that says everything about you, and most of it about me.

WINNERING Hat

$28.00

Winning is what other people do. Winnering is what I do, all day, constantly.

NEGOTIOSITY Hat

$28.00

The art of the deal, in one word, on your head. Wear it to a car dealership.

Apparel

The Red Tie

$49.00

THE tie. A real one. The exact red that says "I mean business, and also I'm very powerful." It's long.

Home & Office

Sticker Pack

$9.00

Four stickers. Winnering! Sad! Tremendous? Very Stable!

Magnet Set

$12.00

Me, my tie and my hair, for your fridge. Very magnetic, like my personality.

Accessories

Enamel Pin Set

$22.00

Gold. Hard enamel. The hair, the tie and the thumbs-up, so your jacket can win too.

"I'm With Donny" Tote

$24.00

I'm with Donny. He said so. A big, strong canvas bag for groceries, books and winning.

Collectibles

Participation Trophy

$39.00

Everyone's a winner. Mostly me. Two thumbs up on a marble base, for the office, the mantel, or anyone who showed up.

Donny's Deck Playing Cards

$19.00

All aces. Well, not all aces, the printer insisted on the other cards.

Little Donny Plush

$35.00

Very soft. The softest. People hug him and they cry.

Digital

Certificate of Tremendousness

$5.00

Awarded for being almost as great as Donny. A printable certificate, sent by email, ready for your wall, your fridge or your performance review.

Home

Drain-the-Swamp Plunger

$29.00

The most powerful plunger. Tremendous suction. Nobody has ever plunged like this, believe me.

Golden Swoop Toilet Brush

$27.00

The best brush. Tremendous scrubbing. The bristles are 100% real, everyone says so.

Grooming

The Swoop Brush

$24.00

Only the best bristles. Four of them. Very strong bristles.

Press Office

Parody. Katie Saccharia is a fictional cartoon character.

"PRESS SECERTARY" Lanyard

$14.00

The badge my press secretary wears, on a navy lanyard with gold edges.

"[PAUSE FOR APPLAUSE]" Sticker

$5.00

Katie said this out loud at a very big briefing, brackets and all, exactly as the President intended.

Prints

Parody. Every character here is a fictional cartoon.

Store FAQ

Straight answers. No superlatives. Donny wasn't allowed to write this part.

Who makes and ships the merch?
Most of it is printed to order and shipped by our print partner, Printful, usually within a few business days, plus the carrier's time. Shipping is $6.95 an order, and we ship to United States, Canada, United Kingdom, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand, Germany, France, Netherlands, Belgium, Spain, Italy, Sweden, Denmark, Norway, Finland, Austria, Switzerland and Japan. Items whose pages say "made specially" (the Red Tie and the plush, for two) aren't Printful's, so they take longer.
Can I return something?
Printed items are made just for you, so returns follow Printful's returns policy: if something arrives damaged, misprinted or wrong, tell us within 30 days of delivery, with a photo, and we'll replace it or refund it. The digital certificate can't be returned once it's sent. Write to the address on your receipt.
How do I pay? Do you see my card?
Checkout is Stripe's. You pay on Stripe's page, and this site never sees your card number. Stripe sends us your name, shipping address and email so we can send your order, and we pass them to Printful for that. More in the privacy notice.
How does the Certificate of Tremendousness arrive?
By email, as a printable file, to the address you give at checkout, usually within two business days. Print it as big as you like. Donny would.
Is this official?
Parody merchandise. Not affiliated with or endorsed by any person or campaign. Little Donny is a fictional character, and buying a hat is not a political contribution.

Donny's Other Products (not for sale)

The world isn't ready for these. Maybe it never will be. Donny is keeping them in the vault, for now.

  • The Red Tie (Executive Edition)

    $999 Not for sale

    Look important like Donny. This is THE tie. Other ties are sad.

    Power dressing for power people.

  • Donny's Hair Secrets

    $45 Not for sale

    Contents: Wind resistance spray and hope. Results may vary. Mine didn't.

    Achieve hair greatness. Probably.

  • Hand Enlargement Gloves

    $29.99 Not for sale

    FOR A FRIEND. Not for Donny. His hands are normal.

    For people with regular-sized hands who want bigger ones. Not Donny.

  • Donny's Book: 'Winning and More Winning'

    $75 Not for sale

    500 pages (400 are photos of Donny). Very educational.

    A literary masterpiece. According to Donny.

  • Official Donny Thumbs Up Foam Finger

    $15 Not for sale

    A very normal-sized foam finger. Regular size. Nothing unusual.

    Show your support! With your hands! Your normal hands!

  • Donny's Vocabulary Flashcards

    $20 Not for sale

    Learn words that don't exist yet. Be ahead of the dictionary.

    Expand your vocabularity. (That's a word now.)

  • The Donny Diet Plan

    $50 Not for sale

    Step 1: Eat what you want. Step 2: Declare victory. Step 3: Repeat.

    Results guaranteed. (By Donny, not science.)

  • Donny's Mirror

    $200 Not for sale

    Pre-set to only show your best angles. Like mine does.

    See yourself like Donny sees himself.

  • Autographed Photo of Donny

    $500 Not for sale

    Signed by Donny (with a stamp of Donny's signature, very efficient).

    An investment in greatness.

  • Donny Perfume: 'Tremendous'

    $150 Not for sale

    Smells like confidence and well-done steak. A power scent.

    Fragrance for winners. By a winner.

  • The Donny Alarm Clock

    $75 Not for sale

    Wakes you up with compliments. 'Good morning, winner!'

    Start every day feeling tremendous.

  • Donny's Negotiation Kit

    $299 Not for sale

    Includes: Red tie, gold pen, book of superlatives.

    Everything you need to make deals. Like Donny.

  • Official Donny Applause Button

    $25 Not for sale

    For when you need applause but nobody's around.

    Instant validation. Just press.

  • Donny's Guide to Humility

    $100 Not for sale

    A very short book. I didn't need many pages.

    Learn from the humblest person ever.

The Donny Guarantee

Donny Winning

"If you're not 100% satisfied with your purchase, you're probably using it wrong. But contact us anyway. We'll explain how you're using it wrong. That's the guarantee."

— Little Donny, Customer Service Expert

(The real returns policy is in the FAQ above. It's much nicer than Donny.)

*Disclaimer: Parody merchandise. Not affiliated with or endorsed by any person or campaign. Little Donny is a fictional character. "Tremendous" is a feeling, not a guarantee. Results may vary. Donny is not responsible for any feelings of inadequacy when comparing yourself to Donny. Mockup photos show the idea; the real thing is printed from Donny's own drawings and may look a little different.

Your Cart

Coming soon. The store opens when Donny's payment people finish negotiating. Very tough negotiators. Look all you like.

Your cart is empty. Very sad. Fill it bigly.

    Subtotal
    $0.00
    Shipping
    $0.00
    Total
    $0.00

    Payments by Stripe. This site never sees your card number. Tax isn't added; shipping is one flat rate an order.