My Kitchen (The Big Fridge)
The Audio Guide to My Refrigerator
Every great museum has an audio guide. My fridge has an important collection, so I recorded one. Press play and open the door.
Museums have audio guides, so you can hear about each treasure as you go. My refrigerator has some very important pieces, so I’ve recorded a guide for visitors. Please put on your headphones, open the door and press play.
The Tour
Stop 1: The Door. Welcome. Please notice the little light that comes on. That light is for you.
Stop 2: The Top Shelf. Our ketchup collection. Seven bottles, all open, all different ages. It’s the largest private collection on this street.
Stop 3: The Cheese. A rare piece from last month. Please do not touch it. Over time, it has become a different cheese.
Stop 4: The Leftovers. Pizza, from Friday. A classic of the genre, served cold, as the artist intended.
Stop 5: The Vegetable Drawer. This part of the collection is rarely visited. The vegetables are here mainly for display.
Stop 6: The Freezer. Upstairs, our most popular exhibit: the ice cream. Please don’t stand in front of it for too long. The visitor behind you is me.
The Gift Shop
The tour ends at the kitchen counter, where you can buy a sandwich made from the collection. Prices start at one compliment.
Please close the door on your way out. The little light will go off when you leave. It’s nothing personal. It does that for everyone, even me.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is the tour long?
Twelve minutes, which is long enough for the fridge to start beeping. That's part of the experience.
Can I eat the exhibits?
Only in the gift shop, and only if you make me one too.