A Very Grand Dining Room
My Seating Plan for a Very Important Dinner
At a dinner for world leaders, where everyone sits really matters. I made the seating plan, with colored pencils.
At a dinner for world leaders, the seating plan is serious business. Who sits next to whom can start a friendship, or end one. I was asked to help with a big dinner, for diplomacy. I took the job very seriously and drew the plan myself, with colored pencils.
The Plan
Seat 1, the head of the table: Me. The best view, and the closest seat to the kitchen.
Seats 2 and 3: The two guests who get along best, so they can tell me how wonderful the dinner is.
Seats 4 and 5: Two guests who don’t get along. Placed at opposite ends, with a very large bowl of flowers in between, just in case.
Seat 6: The guest who tells very long stories. Seated next to the guest who always falls asleep at dinners. A perfect match.
Seat 7: Empty, for a surprise guest. The surprise guest is dessert.
Seat 8: The interpreter, right next to me, so I can be understood in every language at once.
How It Went
Everyone found their seats. The flowers kept the peace in the middle. Further along, the long story ended just in time for dessert, and the sleepy guest woke up for it. I call that diplomacy.
At the end of the night, a guest asked who had made the seating plan. I said I had. She said she could tell. I took it as the highest compliment.
Frequently Asked Questions
What's the most important seat?
In diplomacy, it's the seat to the right of the host, for the guest of honor. I was the host, so my right side felt very honored.
Did anyone swap the name cards?
One person tried. I'd had the cards laminated. Nobody swaps a laminated card.