The Beach (Contested Sand)
My Peace Treaty With the Seagulls Over My Fries
I took fries to the beach. The seagulls took the fries. After two days of losses, I offered them a treaty.
Day one at the beach, I bought fries. A seagull took them. Day two, I bought more fries and held them tighter. Three seagulls took them. I’ve negotiated with very tough people, but never with anyone who can fly. On day three, I offered a treaty.
The Treaty of the Beach
Article 1. The fries belong to Little Donny. Bought and paid for.
Article 2. In exchange, the seagulls will receive one fry per hour, on a napkin, at a respectful distance.
Article 3. No diving. If you want a fry, you ask. Politely. With your eyes.
Article 4. Ice cream is not covered by this treaty. Ice cream is off-limits forever.
Article 5. Disputes will be settled by me, in a calm voice, from under an umbrella.
How It Went
The treaty held for six minutes. Then a seagull took the treaty. I’m calling it a partial success. For six whole minutes, the beach knew peace, and my fries knew safety. History will remember that, even if the seagulls don’t.
Frequently Asked Questions
Did the seagulls sign?
One of them stepped on the paper. Under beach law, that counts.
Do you still eat fries at the beach?
Yes. Under an umbrella, with a lookout and a decoy portion.