Munich, Germany (The Biggest Tent)
I Ate the Biggest Pretzel at Oktoberfest
Millions of people go to Oktoberfest for the beer. I don't drink. I went for the pretzels, and I found one the size of a tire.
Oktoberfest in Munich. Millions of visitors. Giant tents. Brass bands. Everyone in leather shorts. I don’t drink, never have, so I went for the food. And I found the biggest pretzel in Germany.
The Pretzel
It was the size of a car tire. Golden brown. Tremendous. Salt crystals the size of diamonds, almost. I asked them to cut it in half. They said it’s one pretzel. So I ate one pretzel.
It took forty minutes. The band played three songs. People stood on the benches and cheered. Some of it was for the music, but most of it, I think, was for the pretzel.
The Outfit
They gave me leather shorts. Lederhosen, they’re called. I wore them with my suit jacket and a red tie. Bavarian, but executive. A new look. Fashion people are already copying it. They’ll never admit it.
Lessons From Munich
- Always order the biggest one. You can’t go back for a bigger one later. That’s a rule of life.
- A pretzel is just bread that tied itself in a knot to look important. I respect that.
Frequently Asked Questions
Did you finish the pretzel?
I finished it twice. The second time was in my memory, which is the best way to eat.
Are you keeping the leather shorts?
They're keeping me. We have an understanding.