Santa Clara, California (The Big Game)
My Super Bowl Commercials, Which Nobody Has Aired Yet
Seattle won the Super Bowl, 29 to 13. People say the commercials are the best part, so I wrote three.
Super Bowl LX was played on Sunday in Santa Clara, California. Seattle beat New England 29 to 13, and Seattle’s kicker set a Super Bowl record with five field goals. So I wrote my own commercials. Here they are, free.
Commercial One: Donny Water
A man is thirsty. I walk in and hand him a glass of water. He drinks it and looks at the camera. “It’s just water,” he says. “But Donny handed it to me.” Thirty seconds. Not a dry eye in the stadium.
Commercial Two: The Chair
A man sits in a chair. Nothing happens. Then I sit in the same chair. Standing ovation. The words appear: “The Chair. Now More Expensive.”
Commercial Three: The Field Goal
A football sails through the posts. Then again. And again, five times in all. The words appear: “Kicked by someone else. Watched by Donny.” Because watching greatness is a skill too, and I’m the best at it.
Frequently Asked Questions
How much does a Super Bowl ad cost?
Millions. Mine are free, because they're too good to charge for.
Did you watch the game?
Between my commercials, yes. Great game. Seattle should advertise.