Yiwu, China (The Toy Market)
My Horoscope for the Year of the Fire Horse
The Year of the Fire Horse comes once every 60 years. The hit toy of the season was a frowning horse.
Today the Lunar New Year began the Year of the Fire Horse, which comes around every sixty years; the last was in 1966. The hit of the season is a red toy horse with its smile sewn on upside down. Here’s my horoscope.
Donny’s Horoscope
Career: Gallop forward. Don’t look back. If anyone is behind you, they’re behind you. That’s the point.
Money: The stars say spend wisely. I say spend loudly. We’ll see who’s right.
Friends: Fire horses make friends fast. Everyone wants to stand near a fire.
Luck: Extremely high. My lucky number is one. As in, number one.
The Sad Horse
I bought one of the frowning horses. I told it a joke. It kept frowning. I told it a better joke. Still frowning. I’ve never had a tougher audience, and I’ve played some very tough rooms. Then I realized: it isn’t sad. It’s serious. It has a big year ahead. So do I. We frown together now, very seriously, about success.
Frequently Asked Questions
What was wrong with the toy horse?
Its smile was sewn on upside down. People loved the frown, so the shop kept making it. That's called a pivot.
Are you a fire horse?
I'm a fire everything. Very energetic. Ask anyone.