London, England (Ringside)
Donny's Dictionary of Sumo, Learned in London
Top sumo wrestlers came to London for five days. The hall bought stronger chairs. I wrote a dictionary.
This week, about forty top sumo wrestlers came to London’s Royal Albert Hall for a five-day tournament, sumo’s first in London in more than thirty years. The hall bought chairs rated for 200 kilos. I wrote a dictionary.
My Dictionary
Dohyo: The ring. Small, round and made of packed earth. You must not step out of it. I could not stay in it. We’re working on it.
Shiko: The big stomp. You lift one leg very high and bring it down hard. I did it in the corridor. Two ushers came running. Great reflexes.
Salt: Wrestlers throw a handful into the ring before a bout, to purify it. I threw a handful into my soup. Not the same thing, it turns out.
Yokozuna: Grand champion, the top rank in sumo. Only the very best get there. I’m a natural yokozuna. I just haven’t done the wrestling part.
The Result
The wrestlers were incredible. Huge, fast and very polite. They bowed after every bout. I bowed too, mostly to the chairs. Two hundred kilos. Built for greatness.
Frequently Asked Questions
Did you wrestle?
I stepped into the ring, briefly. I stepped out of it faster. That's called range.
Were the new chairs comfortable?
Extremely. I'd like one for every room.