Reykjavík, Iceland (Table One)
I Played Chess Against a Grandmaster and Won, Eventually
The grandmaster thought for ten minutes before every move. I didn't think at all. That's called speed.
They invited me to play chess against a grandmaster in Iceland. A real one. He’s been playing since he was four. I’ve been winning since I was born. On paper, a fair fight.
The Match
Move 1: He moved a little pawn. Very cautious. I moved my king. Lead from the front.
Move 6: He took my queen. I didn’t need her. I had a lot going on.
Move 12: He said, “Check.” I said, “No, thank you.” He explained it wasn’t an offer.
Move 20: He said, “Checkmate.” I said, “Best of three.”
Move 64: I won. He’d gone to get a coffee, and I declared victory while he was gone. That’s strategy.
Why I Won
- I never think about my moves. Thinking is what you do when you’re not sure.
- The king is the most important piece, so I moved him everywhere. Show your strength.
- A chessboard is just a negotiation with squares.
The Rematch
He has asked for one. I’ll consider it. Grandmasters get very upset when you put the board back in the box during a game.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it legal to declare victory while your opponent is out of the room?
Nobody has ever written a rule against it. I checked, quickly.
What's your favorite chess piece?
The king. He doesn't do much, and everyone protects him. Relatable.