Southwick, England (The Security Line)
Everything Conker Security Took From Me
The World Conker Championships brought in airport-style security this year. I learned a lot about my pockets.
At the 58th World Conker Championships in England, players swing conkers on strings until one breaks. After last year’s steel conker row, there was airport-style security: a walk-through scanner, a tray for pockets and a magnet on a pole. I went through it.
Taken at Security
- My lucky conker. Conkers must come from the official bag, and players who sneaked in their own were thrown out. I said mine was only there for luck. It went in the tray.
- My watch. The scanner beeped. A beautiful beep, very loud.
- My cufflinks. Two more beeps. The crowd started counting along.
- A small trophy. In case I won. “That’s presumptuous,” said the guard. “That’s planning,” I said.
- My belt buckle. The magnet on a pole found it from three feet away. A strong magnet. A stronger belt.
The Match
Then I picked my conker from the bag, like everybody else. It was a good conker, round and shiny and honest. It broke on the second swing.
My lucky conker is still in the tray. I’m told I can collect it after the final, along with my belt, which I’d like back soon.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is a conker?
The shiny brown seed of a horse chestnut tree. You hang it on a string and take turns hitting the other player's until one breaks.
Did anyone else set off the alarm?
It went off several times that day. Mine were the loudest, by far.