Christmas Island, Australia
My Traffic Report From Christmas Island
Every year, millions of red crabs walk from the forest to the sea, and the roads close. Somebody has to do the traffic report.
On Christmas Island, the rains have started the red crab migration. Millions of crabs are crossing the island to the sea, so roads are closed, and locals gently sweep crabs off the road with rakes and leaf blowers. I’m doing the traffic.
The Morning Report
Good morning, Christmas Island. Traffic is heavy, and it’s red.
The main road is closed, due to crabs. Expect delays of about a week.
There’s a bridge over the road built just for crabs. Crabs are using it. There are also tunnels underneath. Crabs are using those too. Everybody is using everything.
A crab is in the left lane. Correction: there is no left lane. The whole road is crab.
The Afternoon Report
Traffic eased at midday, when it’s too hot for crabs. They wait for the cooler hours of the morning and late afternoon. Very sensible. I also avoid the midday sun.
By four o’clock, rush hour is back. A man with a leaf blower is clearing the way, one crab at a time, very politely.
A crab has stopped in front of my car and looked at me. I looked back. Neither of us is moving. My car hasn’t moved since Tuesday, but that’s fine, because I’m reporting from it.
That’s all from the island. Tomorrow’s forecast: sunshine, light winds and more crabs.
Frequently Asked Questions
Where are the crabs going?
To the ocean, to release their eggs. Then they walk all the way back to the forest. I'd take a taxi.
Did you help move the crabs?
I supervised the man with the leaf blower. He said he didn't need supervising. I did it quietly, from the car.