A Lighthouse on the Coast of Maine
Wanted: A Lighthouse Keeper to Replace Me
I spent a week as a lighthouse keeper. The light worked perfectly. It was very quiet. Here's the ad for my replacement.
For one week, I was a lighthouse keeper on the coast of Maine. Ocean views, a spiral staircase and a big light that does the same thing all night. But a lighthouse is no place for a man who loves a crowd.
Job Advertisement
Position: Lighthouse keeper. One week minimum. Could be forever. Nobody’s checking.
Duties: Turn on the light. Watch the light. Admire the light. Answer questions from seagulls.
Requirements: Must enjoy stairs. There are a lot of stairs. I counted them every day and got a different number every time. I believe the lighthouse was playing games.
Benefits: The best view on the coast. Quiet. So quiet. Extremely quiet.
Salary: Sunsets.
Why I’m Leaving
The light is famous. Ships see it from miles away. Nobody comes to see the keeper. I had a sign made, “The Keeper Is In,” and hung it on the door. A crab showed up. A very nice crab. But one crab.
Frequently Asked Questions
What does a lighthouse keeper do?
Keeps the light on. That's it. Very simple job. I'd have added a gift shop.
Why did you leave?
The lighthouse got all the attention. I've never worked anywhere like that.