London, England (The Riverbank)
My Calls From the Riverbank at the Boat Race
Oxford and Cambridge raced on the Thames. Each boat has a cox who steers and shouts. I shouted for both, from dry land.
Oxford and Cambridge rowed the Boat Race on the Thames in London, on a windy, choppy day. Oxford’s women won by three lengths, their first win since 2016. Cambridge’s men won their fourth race in a row. I coxed both races, from the riverbank.
My Calls
A cox sits in the boat, steers and calls out instructions. They wouldn’t let me in a boat, so I brought a megaphone.
- “Row! Row harder! No, row nicer!”
- “Please stop splashing the river. It’s a beautiful river.”
- “Be faster than the other boat. That’s the whole sport.”
- “Watch out for the wind!” The wind didn’t listen.
- “Great job, everybody!” This one I shouted at every boat, including the umpire’s.
The Results
Both crews ignored me completely. Then Oxford’s women won, so my calls work. Cambridge’s men won too, so my calls work twice.
I’ve offered to cox for both universities next year, from the riverbank, with a bigger megaphone. Neither one has replied yet. I’m reading that as a very strong maybe.
Frequently Asked Questions
Which side were you on?
Both. That way I couldn't lose, and I didn't.
Did you get wet?
Only once, from a duck. The duck splashed first.