Beijing, China (The Robot Lane)
I Raced a Robot in the Half Marathon and Let It Win
A robot in Beijing ran a half marathon faster than any human ever has. I could have beaten it. I chose kindness.
Beijing held a half marathon where people and robots run side by side, in separate lanes. Last year the fastest robot took almost three hours. This year one finished in about fifty minutes, faster than any human in history. I raced it.
The Start
The gun went off and the robot shot ahead. Metal legs. Very fast. No knees to speak of. I started with a confident walk, which is my strategy. Save your energy. Let them get overconfident.
The Middle
Around the second kilometer, I got into my car. Not cheating. Pacing. The car paces me. The robot kept running. It doesn’t know about cars. That’s the difference between a robot and a genius.
The Finish
The robot crossed the line in fifty minutes and broke the record. I crossed the line too, in the car, and broke for lunch.
I let it win. You have to let robots win sometimes. A sad robot is a dangerous toaster. Besides, I made a friend. When the robots are in charge, it will remember who was nice to it. Smart move. Long-term thinking.
Frequently Asked Questions
What was your finishing time?
Lunchtime. A very respectable time.
Are you worried robots will take over?
They can try. They'll need a lot more hair.