London, England (Chelsea Flower Show)
My Entry for Plant of the Year at Chelsea
Chelsea Flower Show named a hosta called Red Ninja its Plant of the Year. I entered a plastic plant.
The Chelsea Flower Show filled London with gardens this week. The top garden prize went to one with a figure of Mother Nature carved from a fallen tree, and Plant of the Year went to a hosta called Red Ninja. I entered my own plant.
Care Card: The Donny Fern
Water: Never.
Sunlight: Optional.
Soil: None. It stands in a very nice pot.
Growth: It’s already at its best. It doesn’t need to grow.
Lifespan: Forever, unless it melts. Keep away from radiators.
The Competition
I placed my fern next to the hosta. The hosta was leafy and bold and very ninja. My fern was green and shiny and very calm. Anyone could see which one would still look like this in ten years.
The Result
The hosta won. I accept it. A ninja is hard to beat, especially one that’s also a plant. Next year, I’m bringing a whole garden. It will never need weeding, mowing or watering. It will need dusting.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is a plastic plant allowed?
Probably not. But mine looks extremely alive, and looks are half the battle.
What won the top garden prize?
A garden with a figure of Mother Nature carved from a fallen tree. Beautiful. I'd have carved me.