The Minutes of My Peace Summit With the Neighbor's Cat

For months, the neighbor’s cat has been sleeping on my car. Every morning, there it is, on the hood, looking at me like I’m the guest. Talks were needed. I organized a summit. Present: Little Donny and the cat. These are the official minutes.

Minutes

9:00 a.m. The summit opens. Little Donny welcomes the cat. The cat does not stand.

9:05 a.m. Little Donny proposes that the cat move to the neighbor’s car. The cat yawns. Recorded as “under consideration.”

9:15 a.m. Little Donny offers a velvet cushion in exchange for the hood. The cat sits on the cushion. Then on the hood. Then on the cushion again. Possibly a negotiating tactic.

9:30 a.m. The cat falls asleep. The summit is paused.

11:00 a.m. The summit resumes. The cat is gone. So is the cushion.

The Agreement

Both sides agree that the summit was productive. The cat gets the hood on weekdays. I get it on weekends, and on any day the cat is busy. A great deal for me. My advisers say it may also be a great deal for the cat, which means it’s fair, apparently.