My Windowsill
My Pet Rock's Very Busy Schedule
People say a pet rock is the easiest pet there is. They've never seen my rock's calendar.
I got a pet rock this winter. His name is Rocky. He’s gray, a little bumpy and a wonderful listener. People say rocks don’t do much, but Rocky keeps a full schedule, and I keep it for him.
Rocky’s Day
7:00. Wake up. Rocky is already awake. Or still asleep. It’s hard to say.
8:00. Breakfast. Rocky doesn’t eat. He watches me eat, which is very supportive.
10:00. Exercise. I carry Rocky around the block. Excellent for my arms.
Noon. Sunbathing on the windowsill. His favorite. He doesn’t move for hours.
3:00. Training. Today: “Sit.” He nailed it. He always nails it.
5:00. A playdate with a pebble from the garden. It went quietly.
9:00. Bedtime. I read Rocky a story. He stays awake for the whole thing, as far as I can tell.
The Checkup
Last week, I took Rocky to the vet for his yearly checkup. The vet studied Rocky closely. Then he studied me, even more closely.
He said Rocky is in perfect health, as rocks go, and asked why we had come. I said every pet deserves a checkup. He said Rocky will be fine, without one, for about a million years.
That’s a long time to keep a schedule. I’ve ordered a bigger calendar. Rocky is thrilled, I can tell.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is Rocky well behaved?
Perfectly. He's never chewed a shoe or barked at the mailman. He's never done anything at all. That's why he's perfect.
Does Rocky do tricks?
Sit, stay and play dead. He's best at stay.