New York City (Times Square)
My Sixty-Second Speech for the Times Square Ball
The new ball takes exactly one minute to drop. I had a few things to say before midnight. More than a minute's worth.
Times Square has a new ball for New Year’s Eve, the biggest yet: 12.5 feet wide, over 12,000 pounds and covered in 5,280 crystals. It starts to drop at 11:59 and reaches the bottom at midnight. That gave me one minute for my speech.
My Speech
60. Good evening, New York! And good evening, the ball.
55. The new ball is 12.5 feet wide. Bigger than ever. It’s been working out.
50. Now, a word of thanks to the crystals, all 5,280 of them, by name. Crystal one, thank you.
45. Crystal two, thank you.
40. Crystal three, you look wonderful tonight.
30. Crystals four to nine, I’m grouping you together. No offense.
20. Everyone is counting down now. I’m still on crystal eleven.
10. Crystal fourteen, you’ve been great.
1. And finally, happy New—
0. The ball landed. I was still talking.
After Midnight
The crowd cheered, confetti fell, and strangers hugged each other. One of them asked who I was. I told him I’d been giving a speech. He said he’d been counting down too loudly to hear it, which explains a lot.
Next year, my speech starts at 11:00. I’ve asked the ball to take it slowly. It hasn’t replied yet, but it’s very shiny, and I’ve decided that means yes.
Frequently Asked Questions
Did you thank all 5,280 crystals?
I got to crystal fourteen. The other 5,266 can expect a letter.
Will you speak again next year?
Yes, with a shorter speech. Just the important parts, so it will still be long.