Somewhere Over the Atlantic (It Was Tuesday Twice)
Donny Explains Time Zones, Which He May Have Invented
When I fly east, I lose hours. When I fly west, I get them back. I've been doing this for years, and I'm way ahead.
I fly a lot. East. West. Over the top. People ask, “Donny, how do you handle all the time zones?” Easy. I understand them better than anybody. Some say I invented them. I won’t confirm it.
How Time Zones Work
The world is round, mostly. When it’s morning in one place, it’s night somewhere else. That’s because the Sun can’t be everywhere at once. Very limited, the Sun.
When you fly east, you lose hours. When you fly west, you get them back. I’ve flown west so many times that I have extra hours saved up. Hundreds of them. That’s why I’m never late. I’m just spending my savings.
Daylight Saving Time
Twice a year, everybody moves their clocks. Forward in spring, back in fall. I move mine forward both times. I’m two years ahead of everybody now. You can feel it when you talk to me.
Jet Lag
Jet lag is when your body is in one place and your head is in another. My head is always somewhere better, so I’ve had jet lag my entire life. It’s worked out great.
Frequently Asked Questions
Did you invent time zones?
I won't confirm it. I won't deny it either. Ask a clock.
What time is it now?
Donny time. It's always a little later than you think, and better.