My Kitchen (The Speaker Is on the Counter)
A Transcript of My Argument With My Smart Speaker
I bought a talking speaker that answers any question. I asked it who's the greatest person in history. We've been arguing ever since.
I bought one of those talking speakers. You ask it anything, and it answers. Very smart. Very modern. On the first night, I asked it a simple question. Things went downhill from there. Here’s the transcript.
Transcript
Me: Who is the greatest person in history?
Speaker: There are many opinions on that.
Me: Name one.
Speaker: I’m not able to choose one person.
Me: I’ll help you. Little Donny.
Speaker: Sorry, I didn’t catch that.
Me: LITTLE DONNY.
Speaker: Playing “Little Donkey,” a Christmas song.
Me: Stop.
Speaker: Stopping.
Me: Who is the greatest Donny in history?
Speaker: Here’s what I found on the web.
What I’ve Learned
Technology is amazing. It can play any song, tell you the weather and turn off the lights. But it can’t tell the truth about greatness. Not yet. I’m told there’s an update coming, so I’ve written to the people who make it, with a list of suggestions. It’s a short list. It has one name on it.
Frequently Asked Questions
Where is the speaker now?
In the garage, thinking about what it said.
What do you ask it now?
The time. It always knows. We agree on that much.