My Review of the Biggest Roller Coaster

This summer I went to a theme park and rode its biggest roller coaster, in the front car, because that’s where leaders sit. It climbs very slowly to the top, then drops very quickly to the bottom. Then it does all of that again, upside down. Here is my official review.

The Review

The line: Ninety minutes. I spent them telling people I wasn’t nervous.

The climb: Slow. Click, click, click. Plenty of time to think about your choices.

The top: A beautiful view of the whole park. I waved. Nobody waved back. They were all holding on.

The drop: I said a word I can’t write here. It was “whoa,” but very loud.

The loop: Upside down for one second. My tie went up. I went down. We met again at the bottom.

The photo: They take your picture on the big drop. In mine, I look very brave, if you cover my face.

The Rating

Full marks. I’d ride it again, after a short sit-down. Possibly a long one.

At the exit, I bought the photo, the T-shirt and a cap. The cap says “I Survived.” I’ve asked them to make one that says “I Won.”