Southport, England (The Seaside Links)
My Scorecard From the Oldest Golf Tournament in the World
Three players shot 62 at this year's Open, tying the record. I shot a 59, after adjustments. The adjustments were also by me.
The oldest golf tournament in the world, the Open, was played by the sea in England this July. Three players shot 62, each tying the lowest round ever at a major. Impressive. I shot a 59. Here’s my scorecard, so history has the details.
My Scorecard
Hole 1: Drove it into the wind. The wind gave it back. Mulligan. Par.
Hole 4: Landed in a bunker. I used my foot wedge, the most underrated club in golf. Birdie.
Hole 9: My caddie said the putt was forty feet. I moved the ball to four feet. Shorter putts are more efficient. Birdie.
Hole 13: I don’t play thirteen. Bad luck. I wrote down a two, out of respect.
Hole 18: The crowd went wild. They may have been cheering for the actual leader. Either way, eagle.
Total: 59, with adjustments. Every adjustment approved by the scorekeeper, who is me.
The Trophy
The winner gets an old silver jug. I asked if they had it in gold. They said it’s tradition. Tradition is what people do until I show up with a better idea.
Frequently Asked Questions
Were you officially in the tournament?
I played the same course, the same week, near the people who were. That's officially in, spiritually.
What's a foot wedge?
A shot you take with your foot when nobody is looking. Very advanced club.