My Witness Statement From the Magic Show

I went to a magic show in Las Vegas. The magician asked for a volunteer, and I was onstage before he finished the sentence. What happened next was either magic or very fast hands. I’ve written a witness statement, just in case.

Statement of Little Donny

8:15 p.m. I walked onstage. The magician shook my hand. A long handshake. Very warm. I rated it highly.

8:16 p.m. He asked me to pick a card. I picked the king. He said it wasn’t my card. I said all kings are my card.

8:18 p.m. He asked me the time. I looked at my wrist. My watch was gone. Nobody had touched me except for the handshake, which I had rated highly. I now withdraw that rating.

8:20 p.m. He cut an orange in half. My watch was inside it. Still ticking. Slightly sticky.

Conclusion

I’m not saying it was magic. I’m not saying it wasn’t. I’m saying a man held my hand for a very long time and then found my watch in a piece of fruit. Afterward, I asked him to teach me the trick. He said a magician never tells. I said a businessman always asks.