Coney Island, New York (Mustard Section)
My Press Conference After the Hot Dog Contest
The Coney Island champion ate 66 hot dogs in ten minutes. I ate one, with a knife and fork, and took questions.
The famous Fourth of July hot dog eating contest was held on Coney Island again. The men’s champion ate 66 hot dogs, buns included, in ten minutes, for his eighteenth title. I entered in my own category: dining.
Questions and Answers
How many hot dogs did you eat? One. A very good one.
How long did it take? Forty minutes. I chewed. I reflected. I asked for a napkin. Twice.
Why a knife and fork? Because I’m a gentleman. Also, my tie was involved.
Were you disappointed? No. They counted hot dogs. I counted flavor. In flavor, I was unbeatable.
Is it true you asked for a chair? A man who eats sitting down is a man with nothing to prove.
Closing Statement
Sixty-six hot dogs in ten minutes is a tremendous achievement, and I respect it, from a distance, with a napkin. Next year I’m going for two. One for me, and one for history.
Frequently Asked Questions
Will you compete next year?
Yes. I'm in training. Today I finished a hot dog in under an hour.
Mustard or relish?
Mustard, applied by a professional.