My Proposal to Put a Roof on the Grand Canyon

I visited the Grand Canyon. Beautiful. Very old. About a mile deep and 277 miles long. Millions of people come to look at it every year, and nobody talks about the problem. It’s a hole. A big, beautiful, empty hole. So I wrote a proposal.

Proposal: The Grand Canyon, Improved

Phase one: A roof. Glass, so the view stays. It keeps the rain out and the visitors in.

Phase two: A floor, about halfway down, for a restaurant. The restaurant is called Halfway. The food is all the way.

Phase three: Escalators, up and down. Nobody wants to hike up a mile. I’ve never hiked up anything. I’ve been carried up a few things.

Budget

Very big. The canyon is very big. You can’t put a cheap roof on a famous hole.

Next Steps

I’ve mailed the proposal and I’m waiting to hear back. In the meantime, I stood at the edge and shouted my name across the canyon. It came back to me three times. The canyon agrees. That’s the first vote.