Edinburgh, Scotland (The Fringe)
My Entries for Every Best Joke Prize at the Fringe
The Edinburgh Fringe now has several best-joke prizes. One is worth a penny more than another. I entered them all.
For years, the Edinburgh Fringe had one famous prize for the best joke of the festival. Now it has several: one pays a thousand pounds, one a thousand pounds and a penny, and one is picked by a passer-by. I entered them all.
My Entries
Entry one: I went to a restaurant called Modesty. I’d never heard of it.
Entry two: People say I’m the best at everything. I’m also the best at saying it.
Entry three: Why did Donny cross the road? Because it was his road.
Entry four: Same as entry three, but louder. For the passer-by.
Someone asked whether my entries were jokes or facts. Great question. The answer is yes.
The Results
None of my jokes won. The winners so far are professional comedians, which feels like a technicality. One of the winning jokes was about a piranha. I’ve never been beaten by a fish before. I’m taking it well. I’ve written a joke about it, and it’s going in next year, worth a penny more than everyone else’s.
Frequently Asked Questions
Did any of your jokes win?
Not officially. Unofficially, I laughed at all of them.
Why is one prize a penny bigger?
So it beats the other one. Petty, but correct. My favorite kind of prize.