Oulu, Finland (A Stage Over the Water)
My Air Guitar Solo in Finland, With Liner Notes
The Air Guitar World Championships turned 30 in Oulu, Finland. Nobody's invisible guitar was nicer than mine.
The Air Guitar World Championships celebrated their thirtieth anniversary in Oulu, Finland, this week. More than fifty players from thirteen countries played guitars that don’t exist. My kind of instrument. Here are my liner notes.
Track One: “The Tuning”
Forty seconds of me tuning a guitar that isn’t there. The crowd went quiet. That’s respect. Or confusion. Both are attention.
Track Two: “The Solo”
The greatest guitar playing never heard. My fingers moved so fast you couldn’t see the strings, mostly because there weren’t any. I played a note so high, a seagull answered.
Track Three: “The Finale”
I smashed my guitar on the stage, like the legends do. Nothing broke. That’s quality. That’s an invisible guitar built to last. Then I bowed, and the crowd cheered. I believe some of them were cheering for me.
The world title went to a Finnish player, his second in a row. Fair enough. He had home advantage, and possibly a real air guitar.
Frequently Asked Questions
What kind of guitar do you play?
An invisible one. Handmade. The finest money can't see.
Did you win?
A Finnish player won, for the second year in a row. I won the hearts of everyone near the snack stand.