Press Releases From the Press Office

How to read the tracked changes

Katie proofed every release. Legal tracked her changes. Then Legal approved every one of them.

~~Struck through in red~~: words Katie took out. Screen readers say "Deleted".
Underlined in red: words Katie put in. Screen readers say "Inserted".

Office of the Press Secertary

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

The President Will Deliver the State of the Deleted: Union Inserted: Onion

WASHINGTON, D.C., September 29, 2026 — The President will address a joint session of Congress next Tuesday to report on the state of the ~~Deleted: union~~ Inserted: onion. The state of the ~~Deleted: union~~ Inserted: onion is strong.

Members are asked to bring tissues. The address is expected to last one hourInserted: , then another hour, then the rest.

Ms. Saccharia will hand out a ~~Deleted: summary~~ Inserted: salad afterwards.

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Legal: Approved. Everyone loves an onion.

Approved
(by Legal)

Parody. Katie Saccharia is a fictional cartoon character.

Parody. Stephen Smiller is a fictional cartoon character.