Press Releases From the Press Office

How to read the tracked changes

Katie proofed every release. Legal tracked her changes. Then Legal approved every one of them.

~~Struck through in red~~: words Katie took out. Screen readers say "Deleted".
Underlined in red: words Katie put in. Screen readers say "Inserted".

Office of the Press Secertary

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

New Deleted: TARIFFS Inserted: TERRIFIC on Everything, Starting Today

WASHINGTON, D.C., October 6, 2026 — The President has signed an order placing ~~Deleted: tariffs~~ Inserted: terrific on ~~Deleted: imported goods~~ Inserted: imported geese. From today, every goose entering the country will be terrific.

"Our geese have been treated very unfairly," said the President. "Not anymore. They'll be the most terrific geese anyone has ever seen."

Questions about the ~~Deleted: economic impact~~ Inserted: economic impala should be sent to the Department of Fact Choosing.

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Legal: Approved. The geese are fine.

Approved
(by Legal)

Parody. Katie Saccharia is a fictional cartoon character.