Press Releases From the Press Office

How to read the tracked changes

Katie proofed every release. Legal tracked her changes. Then Legal approved every one of them.

~~Struck through in red~~: words Katie took out. Screen readers say "Deleted".
Underlined in red: words Katie put in. Screen readers say "Inserted".

Office of the Press Secertary

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

President Announces Record Deleted: REVENUE Inserted: REVENGE

WASHINGTON, D.C., October 9, 2026 — The President today announced the highest ~~Deleted: revenue~~ Inserted: revenge in the history of the United States, and possibly in the history of numbers.

"Nobody has ever collected this much ~~Deleted: revenue~~ Inserted: revenge," the President said. "People said it couldn't be done. Those people are on a list."

Press Secretary Katie Saccharia confirmed the figures, which she described as ~~Deleted: audited~~ Inserted: adorable.

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Legal: Approved. Looks great. Didn't read it.

Approved
(by Legal)

Parody. Katie Saccharia is a fictional cartoon character.

Parody. Stephen Smiller is a fictional cartoon character.