My Official Complaint About the Words of the Year

Every year, the dictionary people choose a Word of the Year. This year one chose “slop.” One chose “rage bait.” One chose a number, sixty-seven, which isn’t even a word. And not one of them chose the obvious winner. So I wrote a complaint.

The Complaint

To the Dictionary People:

Slop? Slop is what you feed a pig. I’m told it also means junk on the internet. Either way, not a winner.

You chose “parasocial,” which means feeling close to a famous person who doesn’t know you. That isn’t a new word. That’s every one of my fans, and they’re beautiful people.

And sixty-seven? If you wanted a number, I have better numbers. My golf scores, for one. All very low. Some of them are even true.

My Nomination

“Tremendous.” Three syllables. Big sound. It has been my Word of the Year every year since I learned it. Please update your records.

Very truly yours, A man who knows the best words