A Wax Museum (Next to Myself)
I Compared Myself With My Wax Figure
A wax museum made a figure of me. I went to see it, stood right next to it and wrote down the differences.
A wax museum has made a figure of me, and it stands in the main hall, between a movie star and a famous singer. Wax figures take months to make, and the hair goes in by hand, strand by strand. I went to see mine, stood right next to it and made a comparison chart.
The Comparison
- Height: The same. I checked twice.
- Smile: Mine is warmer. Its smile is waxier.
- Tie: Mine is longer. I’ve put in a request.
- Standing still: The figure wins. It has stood perfectly still for weeks. I lasted four minutes.
- Conversation: I win. The figure hasn’t said a word, which some people liked.
- Popularity: Too close to call. People took photos with both of us, often at the same time.
The Verdict
A family came over and asked the figure for a photo. Then they asked me to take it. I took it, and then I got in it. Now they have the best photo in the museum: two of me.
The museum says the figure has to stay inside, away from heat, or it will melt. So we’ve agreed: it’s the indoor version, and I’m the outdoor version.
Frequently Asked Questions
Could people tell you apart?
Mostly. I was the one talking.
Did you touch it?
Only to fix its tie. You can't let a copy of yourself walk around with a crooked tie, even if it can't walk.