Little Donny's Surf Report

I took up surfing this summer, in California. Real surfers check the surf report every morning: the size of the waves, the wind and the tide. I checked it once, didn’t understand the arrows and decided to write my own. Here is today’s report, from the beach.

Today’s Conditions

Waves: Big. Very big. Much bigger than they looked from the car.

Wind: Coming from the ocean, mostly at me.

Tide: In, then out, then in again. It can’t decide.

Water temperature: Cold enough to make a grown man say “whoa.”

Crowd: Lots of surfers, all very relaxed. They call each other “dude.” I’d prefer sir.

Rating: Perfect, for watching from the sand.

My Session

I paddled out, the hard part, like a champion. Then a wave came. I stood up for a full second, maybe two. Then the wave and I went in different directions.

Afterwards, a surfer asked how my session went. I said I’d caught the biggest wave of the day. He asked which one. I said all of them, at once, from underneath.

Tomorrow’s forecast: more waves, more sun, more me.