Arcata to Ferndale, California
The Awards I Planned to Win at the Kinetic Race
Human-powered art crosses sand, bay and mud for three days in California. There's even a prize for finishing in the middle.
The Kinetic Grand Championship is a race for human-powered sculptures: about 50 miles from Arcata to Ferndale over three days, across roads, sand dunes, Humboldt Bay and mud. People call it the Triathlon of the Art World. I built a sculpture.
My Award Plan
My sculpture was a giant statue of me, waving, on six bicycle wheels, with seven sets of pedals. I pedaled too. I also steered, waved and gave a speech at the start, which made pedaling harder. Here were my targets:
- Grand Champion. Obviously.
- Best Art. It’s a statue of me. Done.
- Engineering. It has a cup holder. Two, in fact.
- Pageantry. My costume was my statue’s costume, so we matched.
- The Mediocre award, for finishing in the middle. I tried. But I can’t be mediocre. It’s not in me.
- The Golden Dinosaur, for the first sculpture to break down. This one was close.
What Happened
My statue’s arm waved so hard in the first block that a wheel came off, and then another one.
We’d have won the Golden Dinosaur, if another team hadn’t broken down first. So I came away with no awards at all, which isn’t mediocre. It’s a whole new category. I’ve written to the judges about it.
Frequently Asked Questions
What happens when the sculptures reach the bay?
They have to float across. Mine never got that far, but I tested it in the bath at home. It floated very well, upside down.
How far did you get?
We finished the first block. The other 49 and a bit miles are next year's problem.