Pilton, England (Worthy Farm)
I Headlined Glastonbury's Year Off. The Cows Loved It.
There's no Glastonbury in 2026. The land is resting and the cows have the fields. I played anyway.
Glastonbury is taking 2026 off. It’s a fallow year: the farm rests, the cows get their fields back, and the next festival is in June 2027. But a field without a headliner is a sad thing, so I headlined the year off.
The Review, by the Cows
★★★★★ We had the field to ourselves for the first time in years. Then a man in a suit arrived with a microphone and no band. He played for two hours, mostly songs about himself. Some of us lay down. That’s how cows applaud.
The Set List
- “Donny in the Field”
- “Moo Means Yes” (crowd favorite)
- “Fallow Me” (a ballad)
- Encore: “Donny in the Field,” again, by popular demand, mine
After the Show
No crowds. No tents. No queue for the toilets. Best festival I’ve ever played. The cows didn’t ask me back, but they didn’t say no either, and in show business that’s a yes.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why is there no festival this year?
It's a fallow year. The land gets a rest and the cows get the fields back. Everyone needs a holiday.
When is the next one?
June 2027. I won't need a ticket. I'm a cow favorite now.