London, England (Alexandra Palace)
My Walk-On Plan for the World Darts Championship
At the darts world final in London, players walk on to their own music. I wrote my walk-on. A wasp stole the show.
At Alexandra Palace in London, the world darts champion kept his title, winning the final 7–1 and a million pounds, the biggest prize in darts. A wasp came back for the final, too. Players walk on to music, so I wrote my walk-on.
My Walk-On
The lights go down. Smoke. A lot of smoke. Too much smoke. Someone opens a window.
The music starts. A song about me, sung by me.
I walk through the crowd. I shake every hand. Every single one. This takes a while.
I reach the stage. I wave at the dartboard. The dartboard doesn’t wave back. Rude dartboard.
The wasp arrives. It gets a bigger cheer than me. I wave at the wasp. The wasp does a lap of honor. Friends for life.
My Darts
Then I threw one dart. It hit the board, which I’m told is the hard part. It scored one point. One is a great number. It always comes first.
The champion won seven sets. I won one point and a friend. Ask the wasp who had the better night.
Frequently Asked Questions
Did you meet the champion?
I congratulated him from my seat, loudly. He won a million pounds. I won the respect of a wasp.
What's your walk-on song called?
"Donny, Donny, Donny." It's mostly chorus.