The Caribbean Sea (The Bridge, Uninvited)
I Went on a Cruise and Became the Captain
By day two I had the captain's hat. By day three I had opinions about steering. By day four I'd named an island after myself.
I booked a cruise in the Caribbean. A tremendous ship. Eighteen floors, six pools, thousands of guests. It needed only one thing. Leadership. Here’s my log.
The Captain’s Log (Mine)
Day 1. Boarded. Asked to see the bridge. They said guests aren’t allowed. I said I’m not a guest. I’m an experience.
Day 2. Found a captain’s hat in the gift shop. Wore it to dinner. Three people saluted me. I promoted all three.
Day 3. Went to the bridge again. The real captain was steering. I gave him some advice: turn left. He didn’t turn left. I respect a man who stays the course, even the wrong one.
Day 4. We arrived at a beautiful island. I announced, “As your captain, I name this island Donny Island.” It already had a name. We’ll see which one sticks.
Day 5. Home. They gave me a certificate for Most Enthusiastic Passenger. It says passenger. It means captain.
Lessons From the Sea
- Wear the hat, and the job follows.
- Never ask permission on a boat. The ocean can’t hear you anyway.
Frequently Asked Questions
Were you actually the captain?
I had the hat. The hat is ninety percent of the job.
Would you go on another cruise?
Only if they let me steer. They've stopped answering my letters, which I take as a maybe.