Norfolk, Virginia (Botanical Garden)
My Apology to the Corpse Flower in Virginia
The corpse flower rarely blooms and smells like rotting meat, on purpose. I said something about the smell. Then I wrote this.
A corpse flower called Lady MacDeath bloomed this week at the Norfolk Botanical Garden, and people waited in line for hours to see it. The bloom smells like rotting meat, to call in the insects that pollinate it. I had a reaction.
My Apology
Dear Lady MacDeath,
I’d like to apologize for what I said when I came in, which was, “What is that smell?” I said it quite loudly. Several people turned around.
I’d also like to apologize for the face I made, for asking a gardener if the smell could be turned down, and for spraying my cologne in your direction. The beetles were confused.
I understand now. You smell like that on purpose, for the flies and beetles that carry your pollen. It’s your job, and you’re very good at it. I respect a professional.
You waited years to bloom, and I made your big day about my nose.
Respectfully,
Little Donny
P.S.
Your name is excellent, and I’m jealous. I’d like a name like that, but nicer.
I’m told your next bloom could be years away. I’ll be back, with a better attitude, a clothespin and no cologne. The beetles will be glad to hear it.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why does the corpse flower stink?
To attract the flies and beetles that pollinate it. They love it. I've decided not to judge them.
How long does the bloom last?
Only a day or two, so the line was worth it, even for my nose.