York, England
My Suggestions for Britain's Best Chip Shop
The best fish and chip takeaway in Britain keeps its menu short and simple. I left a few ideas in the suggestion box.
A chip shop in York, run by two brothers, has been named the best fish and chip takeaway in Britain at the national awards. Judges checked everything, from the kitchen to blind taste tests. Its menu is short, mostly classics like cod, haddock and scampi. I had suggestions.
My Suggestions
- A longer menu. Short menus are lovely. Long menus have more things on them.
- Bigger portions. Chips should come in small, large and Donny.
- Ketchup. On the side, on top and somewhere in the middle, as a surprise.
- The paper. Fish and chips come wrapped in paper. I’d like a photo of me printed on it, smiling, so every customer has company.
- Music. A little band, playing near the fryer. The fish would enjoy it.
- Seats. It’s a takeaway. I’d like them to stop taking it away, so I can sit down and eat.
A Word From the Queue
A regular in the queue read my suggestions over my shoulder. He said a short menu is how a great chip shop keeps everything perfect, every single time.
Then I tried the haddock. It was crisp and light, and the chips were exactly right. He had a point. I’ve taken back suggestions one to five.
Number six still stands. I ate my fish and chips on the wall outside, which was cold, but the food was so good that I didn’t mind. That’s what I call a takeaway.
Frequently Asked Questions
What's the difference between cod and haddock?
They're both white fish from the cold North Atlantic, and cod is usually the bigger one. I asked for the bigger one.
What are scampi?
Pieces of langoustine, a kind of small lobster, in breadcrumbs and fried. I had six, then six more, for comparison.