Llanwrtyd Wells, Wales (The Bog)
I Commentated My Own Bog Snorkelling Race
At the World Bog Snorkelling Championships in Wales, normal swimming strokes are banned. I did my own commentary.
The World Bog Snorkelling Championships turned 40 this year, in a peat bog near Llanwrtyd Wells, Wales. Racers swim two lengths of a 60-yard trench full of muddy water, with a snorkel and flippers, and normal swimming strokes aren’t allowed. I did the commentary, live.
Live From the Bog
“And he’s in! Donny enters the bog. The water is brown. Very brown. A rich, deep brown, like fine leather.”
“Normal strokes are banned, so he’s kicking. Big kicks. The bog is impressed.”
“He lifts his head to see where he’s going. Racers do that now and then. He does it every two seconds.”
“He reaches the post at the end of the trench! He touches it, above the water, as the rules require. Textbook.”
“He turns for the second length, and oh, he’s stopped to wave to his fans. The clock does not stop. The clock never stops.”
The Result
My finishing time was excellent, in bog terms. My position was hard to read, because of the mud on the scoreboard and also on my face.
I climbed out covered in bog from top to bottom. People asked for photos, and I said yes to every one. It was the boldest look of my whole career, and my career has been full of bold looks.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can you wear fancy dress?
Yes. It's welcome, though not required. I came dressed as a champion.
What else is banned?
Webbed gloves, for one. I didn't ask about webbed socks. I didn't want to give anyone ideas.