Episode 7 · ▶ 1:09 1 minute 9 seconds

The Mop's First Press Conference

The new Press Secretary (Acting) takes questions. It answers none of them. Later that day, Donny turns on the TV.

Transcript

1. Reporter: Mr. Mop! Mr. Mop! Is it true the President's whole schedule is just lunch?
2. Reporter: Mr. Mop, any comment on Katie?
3. Stephen Smiller: Shhh. Don't tell anyone. The Mop… works for me.
4. Pete Kegsbreath: The Mop has been read in on every war plan. Finally, someone on this team who doesn't leak. It absorbs.
5. Natalie Sharpie: I printed 4,000 copies of the Mop's statement! They're blank. It's a perfect statement.
6. Little Marco: Should I answer? I'm also the Mop's spokesman. Hold on! Water?
7. Little Donny: The Mop has done tremendous work. No mistakes. Not one. Nobody's ever seen a mop like it.
8. Katie Saccharia: Hi, it's Katie, live from the news desk! Our top story tonight: a local man got a new mailbox. It's beige. We'll have team coverage at eleven!
9. Little Donny: Who is that? She's fantastic. Somebody hire her.